Winning isn't Everything

I hope this isn't too whiny for a first post. I'm not really a complainer! 

Everyone likes to win, right? Well not exactly. If I’m on a team of some sort then of course I will do my best to help my team win, and I’m happy if we do. It’s when I’m on my own that I don’t feel the same way.

I’ve never been super competitive to begin with. I played (the bench) in basketball, knowing that I wasn’t the best anyway. I danced in recitals, where everyone tells you “you did great! I didn’t see any of those mistakes that you claim you made!” I tried in gym class and at other competitions, but never expected to be the best. Maybe I have low expectations for myself. Maybe that’s why I don’t care so much about winning: because I never think that I really will.

I’ll state the obvious: If I win, then the other person loses. They become upset or disappointed. I am uncomfortable celebrating when the other person feels this way. I would rather have them be excited and pretend to be upset. I guess I like to win, but I don’t like the other person has to lose. I know this makes me sound kind of pathetic. I sound like the next thing I’m going to say is I want world peace and everyone to get along. But what I mean is that if other people get so much more joy out of winning than I do, why deny them of that?

Despite how I feel, I give my best effort at everything I do, or at least try to. I don’t let people win. I’m not a good liar and people could probably tell if I did that anyway, so I don’t bother. However, if I do lose, I’m totally ok with it. For me, winning isn’t everything.